Finding The Life I Wanted

It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with figuring out exactly what I wanted to do in my life. At one point, I was depressed, lonely and sad all the time; I cried just about every day and couldn't make myself get out of the bed. Sometimes I tried, but it just didn’t happen. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to make a change.


For a long time, I struggled with trying to figure out what I was going to do next. What was going to be the next chapter in my life? I knew what didn’t work, but I had no clue how to find what did. One day an idea just clicked, and it was so simple that I am not sure why I hadn’t thought about doing this before. I grabbed a piece of paper and started to write down all of the things that interested me; these were the things I liked to do for fun and what I enjoyed professionally. I started to feel like I was on to something. I quickly went to the store and purchased a bunch of notebooks. I am one of those people who likes the touch and feel of paper; it just comforts me. After that, I started to write all of my ideas on paper and carried a notebook with me everywhere I went. When I got a sudden thought or had the urge to do something, I wrote so I could go back to it later. 


After I created this list I was able to narrow in on a few things that I wanted to tackle professionally and personally. Some of those included leaving my job, becoming active in the community, enhancing my writing skills, learning photography and starting a business. I started to set goals for myself. And I started to form better habits so I could realize these goals.


Deciding what you really want to do is always hard. The first thing I did was set clear goals about how I wanted my future to look. I knew that I needed to write more in order to build my writing portfolio. I created a goal to obtain a job writing for a blog or writing freelance. I wasn't sure how I was going to get this opportunity, but I knew what I wanted. Creating goals helped me stay on track with my vision. I will always have these goals as a reference point to go to whenever I feel that I may be getting off track. Setting goals helped me see the larger picture and allowed me to stay on track by not embarking on opportunities that were not in line with my end vision. 


I spoke to my friends and family to garner support and sought their opinions. I am generally not a person who cares about what other people think, but I needed the support. If I did, I wouldn't have been able to quit my job. One thing that I learned along the way is that you should never let what other people say or think deter you from your vision. But, if you notice that everyone around is unsure about what it is that you doing, you might want to listen. They may know something or have experience that you don't have, and might be trying to help. 


I started to follow people who I thought were successful and people that influenced me. I would always look to see who they followed and who influenced them. I started to read the books they recommended––the ones that helped them with their success. They became mentors in my head. If they hosted a webinar, I attended it. I wanted to keep up with them and their success. 


One day I asked myself what would truly make me happy. I daydreamed about my ideal life and profession. I kept going back to one concept; I wanted freedom. I wanted freedom to learn and grow, to spend time with my family and have a job that I created and a career that was mine. I knew that I wanted to be a business owner and an entrepreneur. As soon as I came to this realization, I started to think back about when I was a child. When I was younger, it was my dream to have an online boutique. About two years ago I started making jewelry and decided that wanted to start my own business. Look at where I am now. 12-15 years later I want to create my own jewelry line and open an e-commerce shop. 


You never know where the world will take you. As an adult, I never knew that I wanted to start my own business, but I guess it was inherited, always been in me and a part of my life. 

By: Rachel M. Roberts