"There is Purpose in Your Pain"
I could have a pity party and go on and on about all the bad things that have happened in my life, believe me, my party would look better than yours and you’d feel sorry for me and say man, my life isn’t all that bad. Truth is there is always someone near or far that has it or has had it worse than you. We play victim so well. I know because I did, sometimes I still do.
I’m so hard on myself and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. There are pluses and minuses to being a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist makes me push towards excellence which is great, but if I fail I almost want to quit because according to me I didn’t achieve my goal or meet my standards and you don’t always get a second chance to make it right.
I’ve fought depression; I’ve let it win some days. I’ve dug a hole and stayed there, but not for long because deep down I knew I was meant for more than just hurt. I was born with a purpose and someone paid a price for my sins a long time ago and He wouldn’t have done so if I weren’t meant for something great. I think sometimes when we contemplate and dwell on negative things we shut people out when we really want someone around, someone to care so we know that we are actually loved because maybe we don’t feel loved at the moment. I don’t know what you’re going through or what you are dealing with at this moment, but know that you are LOVED! Seriously, you, yes YOU!
Regardless of your beliefs, you were made with a purpose. Before you were formed in the womb, God knew you. That’s deep because your parents didn’t even know you. I just want you to know that there is a God who gives us free will, who won’t beg to be in your life, but if you invite Him into your heart He will change your life for the better. Just cry out to Him and tell Him everything that is on your heart just like you were talking to your best friend and you’ll feel such a comfort and peace come over you.
I recently connected with a family whose son died when we were in High School. I didn’t know him long, but what he shared with me impacted my life. See even though I grew up in the church, I didn’t feel free to worship and cry out to God when I felt moved too because I cared what people thought. As a PK (preachers’ kid) you have to have it all together and behave perfectly all the time. It’s a lot of pressure. Anyway, I told my friend some things that were bothering me and he invited me to his church. It was a Wednesday night service and it was just teenagers. We talked about real issues and during worship service was where I became free to just be me with God. I lifted my hands and surrendered everything to him and just cried out. It was the best I had felt I months.
Since then my relationship with God has grown so much and I still cry out to Him because some moments are tough. I realize that with every person I help especially someone who I see may be going down the same path I was on or someone who has gone through what I went through it’s like a weight has lifted and I feel such peace. Helping others has always been my passion. It’s something about giving without expecting anything in return that soothes my soul and lifts me up even on my darkest days.
As time passes you’ll see that there is a purpose in your pain and it just may be to help others heal from the same experience. Just look at Joyce Meyers for example and the impact she has made since she shared her story. Be encouraged and when you need a push of encouragement, inspiration or love, love on someone else first! Share a smile you never know who may need it.
BY: EIC Le'Keshia Smith