"Keep The Flame Lit"

My pastor mentioned that there have been more babies made off Barry White songs than any other artist! I’d say Luther Vandross, but I’m not willing to take the poll on that seeing as I don’t even what to know what artist song I was made on! YUCK! I mean am I the only one who wants to believe their parents don’t have sex? That’s hard when you walk in on them as a child, I’m scarred for life. Thanks Mom and Dad. (Face palm)


I’m sure I am not the first that that’s happened too, but uh let’s change the subject before I get sick to my stomach. Ugh. So to keep your relationship or marriage on fire for each other, what do you do because sex with even the Greatest Hits just isn’t enough? I mean between work and the kids (if you have them), bills, maintenance and upkeep of your house just the daily stresses of life can start to weigh heavy in your relationship. I’ve heard so many couples say he/she doesn’t do the things that they used to do before they got together or before they got married. Is your partner feeling neglected? Where was the connection lost? Does your foundation have cracks? 


These days it seems like no one is getting married due to this “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” crap or because they break up then get back together so many times it’s not even worth getting married because you can barely stay in a relationship. There is more to a relationship than sex (as I’m sure you may know) and after awhile the lingerie stops coming on and the bonnet and the gown comes out! You have to discover other ways to be intimate with each other because that companionship will come in handy once the kids are grown and all you have left is each other.


So here are some tips that I believe will help keep the fire lit in your relationship or marriage and if you’ve been successfully married for many years then please weigh in because I am no expert.


From experience I have learned that communication with effective listening can help you grow leaps and bounds especially with a woman because one way that we feel loved is when we are truly heard and with men when they feel respected, to them that is love. Pride can kill a relationship so showing humility and admitting your wrong helps to lower your partners guard with you and be more vulnerable because you can say I’m sorry and mean it and try to make the necessary changes in the future. Plan something special no matter how small because it lets your partner know that you were thinking of them. Sometimes it’s the little things that can rekindle a flame and you’ll be right back to talking all night like you used to do in high school or the butterflies come back for each other.


I may be old school, but I’ve always wanted that Anita Baker type love, that let’s go study type love, that stand outside your window with a boom box type love, that Brown Sugar type love, that ya’ll still together type love! So recognize that your partner is not your enemy and learn their love language because everyone doesn’t want to be loved in the same way that you do.

How do you keep the fire lit? Do you know your partners love language?

BY: EIC Le'Keshia Smith