I was never the type of girl to have a lot of friends. In high school I always envied the squad of girls that hung out together and not just during school, but outside of school, like go over each other’s house, and always planned things together. I mean I had my close few friends and then I had people that I associated with, but for some reason I always wanted more. Even in college, I again had maybe one or two close friends, but never that group that I would so often see.
As I got older my somewhat “squad” of friends did come into formation. I have to say it was one of the happiest times of my life. I would have gatherings and my friends would come over. We would play games, laugh and just have fun. I liked feeling like people were there for me. For me, this gave me a sense of belonging whereas before I kind of felt like a black sheep walking around trying to find the other black sheep with none in sight.
Fast forward to now, after a break up and some friends going their separate ways. I was back to feeling like the lonely black sleep. Being that I am older now I felt that it would be a lot harder to find like-minded women whom I could call “friend’. Women who I felt had my best interest in mind and I the same for them. Since I was going through a difficult time, I just wanted to be around positive energy. I was older and I felt that women around my age had already had their friends whom they had been with for years and didn’t have room for me. #nonewfriends
A co-worker of mine had told me about meetup.com. Sounds okay, at the very least I would find some good events to go to. Long story short I met a woman who helped me through my hard time. From that meeting and others, as well as just pushing myself to step outside of my comfort zone I had gained new friends and even found myself in a “squad”. I also realized in the mist of all this that it doesn’t matter if you have five or one good friend, what matters is the value that they bring to your life. While I was out there searching for a squad to belong to, I had friends who were always there for me. We may not get together often and they may not talk to each other, but they are loyal towards me. The take away: Sometimes it’s not about the quantity, it’s about the quality.
What have you realized about friends as you get older?
Do you find it more difficult to make new friends as you get older?
By: Ayesha Wallace via EIC Le'Keshia Smith