"Lost in Love"

“Dangerously in love”...it's very likely you've heard this phrase a time or two. What does it mean for you? When I think of this phrase I can't help but think of a literal dangerous state of being.

If you've ever been in love it's likely at some point you've “lost yourself”. It's not hard to do...in fact it feels good. Some would say it feels really good…up until it feels bad. Really bad. Looking back I remember being in a relationship that allowed me to get lost. I mean, I was so lost no search party could find me. It took some deep soul searching to work my way up, out of that darkness of not even remembering who I was.

It's so common for people to fall in love and then drop their goals, dreams, aspirations, friends, and hobbies. Why does this happen? In my experience it was my partner who secluded me from the outside world. Have you ever had someone constantly read your phone call history? Check your computer files every chance they got? Turn you away from friends and family by creating drama where there was none? Threaten to kill themselves if you left them? I have. The worst part was I stayed. I stayed because I was lost. Some would say “lost in love.”

Love is such a powerful word. Its meaning isn't the same for everyone. I will tell you though, that love is NOT a life centered around your partner, love is not fear, alienation, verbal abuse, threats, intimidation, and being left with feelings of little to no self-worth. That is NOT love. Love DOES require sacrifice but you should never have to sacrifice your friends, dignity, goals, and personal needs.

Next time that familiar tune comes on, “I'm in love with you; you set me free…” please remind yourself that you alone have the power to set yourself free. No one should ever have that power to reign in your life. Too often our surroundings numb us to believe that love is this fantasy land where we all need to be forgetting about who we are and just bowing to our partner's feet. No thanks. You can love and still be YOU. You can love and still have friends, achieve your dreams, and have an overflowing amount of self-worth. There is someone out there for you who will agree. Don't settle till you find that. Don't break your own heart in the midst of trying not to break someone else's.