"No One Ever Said: I Want to be a Baby Mama When I Grow Up"

I am a mom to a very smart, beautiful, 4 going on 14 little girl. I love her with all of my heart and she IS truly a blessing. I wouldn’t trade her for anything. When she was born I had this whole vision. I had this vision ever since I was a little girl, to have a family. Unfortunately, the vision did not come to light and I ended up, for the lack of better words a “baby mama”. I really don’t care for the term, but since the term is so prevalent in our community I’ll use it.  


Now more than ever women are baby mama’s than wives. Madamenoire.com recently made a list of “Signs you’re on your way to becoming a baby mama”. I think the list made some very good points, like if the “pull out method” is your only form of contraception, clearly you’re asking for it then, that’s like playing Russian roulette! While the article did list some behaviors that could potentially lead a woman to becoming a baby mama, the article for me did not touch on what emotionally can lead a woman to becoming a baby mama.


There are definitely certain behaviors that can lead to a baby mama, but why do some women behave this why? Why is it that some women have the fear of being alone or are accepting of some men’s behavior toward them, like stated in the article?  When I think about these things it comes down to self-worth and various relationships that one may have encountered growing up. Sometimes we may try and hold on to things that are not meant for us and when we realize it, it’s too late. Having a goal was also mentioned, which I believe is important. The key is sticking to it and not letting anyone or thing steer you off course.


At the end of the day, being a baby mama should not be looked at as a negative thing. Although it would be nice to see more nuclear families in our community, things happen in life that we cannot always control.  At the end of the day, the one thing that is important is the little people in all of this. Regardless if they are in a single family household or have both parents they need all the love in the world from everyone that is involved in their lives.


Why do you feel there are more “baby mamas” today?

How can being a “baby mama” not be viewed as a negative thing?


By: Ayesha Wallace via EIC Le'Keshia Smith