Connections

I’ve had my fair share of intense connections with people over the years, some last longer than others. When a month or two later the connection fizzles out. I’m usually ready to move on myself – but every now and then, there are those connections that are so electrifying, that you cannot help but fall.

 

The problem arises when you feel this connection via a medium; for example Whatsapp, Twitter or Facebook. How genuine are connections formed with people you have never met? Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some good friends via twitter, so I understand its value. It being able to connect you with individuals you would otherwise have never met and its been great… I’m beating around the bush – what I’m actually concerned about are more romantic feelings that can develop between you and another person online – the internet, or rather social media as a whole, has produced the catfish. This is where somebody assumes any identity they choose, they don’t reveal their true selves. In other words, you could be falling in love with a completely fictitious personality – you could be falling in love with a lie.

 

 

That scares me because that level of affection is hard to come back from. When it comes to meeting a guy online and I feel there is potential, I’m usually the first to suggest a meeting – I need to confirm if that connection / electricity that is clearly felt from both sides, can be translated into real life; 7/10 times it does – the other three times the connection fades quickly and we go our separate ways.

 

I’ve recently felt a connection (again) with one of my twitter followers, from the on set speaking to him has been easy, free of the pressure to impress. Our encounters are two-way – with both of us making an effort. Our conversations don’t leave me feeling anxious or confused – and although we have agreed to be no more than friends in a “situationship”; I can’t help but feel something a little more. Yes, he flirts and I flirt back – but it’s not the only thing we do.

 

He asks for my opinion on matters - listens, asks engaging questions, in a nutshell, he looks like he’s investing in me, but we have never met. It’s in the pipeline but I have a fear that we’re taking too long – this thing we’ve started may fizzle out and I’m tired of that, I’m tired of unpacking my life from scratch to a stranger, just to not hear from again. I can’t continue to open up like that because it hurts too much. Sure, we both want different things – I’ve made it clear that I want to date and he seems to be more in a place where he is shying away from commitment but we gel so well. I guess, my main question now is: What do I do with these feelings?

 

You can follow me on twitter: @koren_devereux

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