WHY WON’T he LEAVE?

"Don’t you see the red flags?”

They like to ask,

Much too often,

“Your funeral.”

Which is how the conversation ends,

The irony in it all.

 

Yet,

Never do they ask him why he chooses to stay,

Why does he still come back to this dark place we used to call home?

A house full of rage that only stands to trigger his angst,

I’ve paid my dues with battered wage,

A good woman I’ve been,

Before the bruises,

Gashes on the back of my head,

The scars.

 

Doors and windows are barred,

Our house is a prison,

He used to feel like home,

But not even he is a warden,

He, too, is a prisoner, 

Can he rid himself of these chains?

Seldom.

 

So, tell me…

Why does he not leave?

 

If I have become ugly in his eyes,

Weak,

More so now, because I grovel in my own blood at his feet,

With battered ribs,

Broken bones,

Why won’t he leave?

He says he loves me but all I see is loathe,

I used to love him,

But I have lost him to I don’t what the fuck it is.

 

Yet, when I try to run for the door he grabs me by the hair and drags me to the bedroom,

My leaving him is a threat to my own life,

Yet, I’m the one that gets told what to do,

“I don’t understand why you stay when he is clearly treating you bad.”

Every part of me screams.

 

These may be my last words,

Not because I want to die,

But because he decides my fate,

I’ve lost my friends,

My family, too.

My world is his, and his has done nothing to save me,

Average joe with an ugly soul,

Yet, he stays with me.

A constant reminder that he as a man has failed.

 

That all his words have fallen on deaf ears,

All he has now is his fists,

Drunken slurs,

A bruised ego,

The little pride that he beats out of me every single day,

Gaining nothing,

Only to try again the next day,

Hoping a fist full of my hair, pulling at my scalps while he shouts ragged breaths of gin in my face, will better his esteem,

Having bashed my face into the kitchen counter.

 

This man is hurt,

Broken, more than any one of my bones.

Yet, you ask me why I stay,

Every day he brings me closer to the light,

And, you dare ask me why I won’t leave like I haven’t tried.

 

Follow me on Twitter: @_moXV

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