How's my relationship with me?


By Nicole McKenzie

Spiritual growth: 


Let’s talk relationships! Not the one you have with your spirit guides or even God. The one you have with yourself! Yes! You! Let us talk about, dare I say it, the most important relationship you will have in your life!

Before we go any further let us do a self-evaluation. Do this in a place or at a time when you are able to be completely honest.  We are about to start doing our work. So here are your evaluation thoughts below. For each yes or no answer, list your reason/excuse.

1.How do I talk to myself? Am I stern or gentle in my tone?

2.How do I treat my body?

a.Do I eat well?

b.Do I exercise?

c.Do I wear the clothes I want to wear?

d.Do I wear my hair in the way I would want to?

3.Am I pleased with my body image?

a.Why do I view my body this way?

4.Do I trust myself?

a.Do I second guess my decisions?

5.Am I forgiving towards myself?

6.How many things have I tried to change about myself physically?


7.How many things have I tried to change about myself mentally?


8.How often do I put my feelings on the back burner to please others?

9.Do I keep quiet for the sake of keeping the peace 90% of the time?

10.Do I feel unappreciated very often?

11.Have I accomplished my dreams?

a.For this question, get a second sheet of piece of paper and list your dreams.

12.How committed am I to the relationship I have with myself?

13.How consistent have I been in making love to my own soul?

14.How often do I show myself that I truly value me?

a.Do I take a break from life and pamper myself?

b.Do I just sit and savor the taste of my food?

c.Do I take a bath/shower and reverence the feel of my skin?

15.Do I stop to look myself in the eyes and tell myself ‘I love you’?

These are seemingly simple questions but lets take the time to think about these questions and allow our souls to be vulnerable. Be honest with yourself. Have you been enjoying the presence of yourself for as long as you have been alive? One of the things we often forget is that each relationship we form is eternal. Everything you perceive or know is as a result of your relationship with something else! Often times what we fail to realize is that unless our relationship or sense of self is a solid one, we can be easily influenced by those we are around. For example, you know that friend whose personality changes with each relationship their in? Yup! That may be indicative of someone of who is not completely happy with who they are as an individual and so they think that in order to feel loved by their spouse, they must become what the spouse ‘likes’.  But hold your horses! Don’t you dare judge your friend, because after all, birds of a feather flock together! Better yet, show me your friends and I tell you who you are! What is it in you that relates to that person? 

Ok, back to you! Your task this week is to do this evaluation and see where you stand in your relationship with yourself. If you aren’t in a committed relationship with you then you need to be. Because frankly, there is no other you on this planet and you’re missing out on some of the best loving you will ever get in your life. Your first task is to learn to be vulnerable with yourself. A great way to do this is by doing a mirror exercise. Start out slowly, don’t rush into this relationship, it’s only going to last your lifetime! Stand in a mirror and look yourself in the eye and tell yourself how your day went.  It may feel silly at first but seriously stand there and laugh or vent about your day while looking yourself in the eyes. Do this for a few days if it feels odd.  Once you’ve attained more comfort, go into conversations about your fears, dreams, pet peeves, thrills etc.  The goal is to get to know yourself so well that no one can dare to try to take away your power! The goal is to one day stand in your divinity! Vulnerable, Royal and perfectly imperfect but trusting yourself in all you do and who you are!