Don't approach me, if you're not about protecting me




“It wasn’t long before someone accused me of being vain and reminded me that I’m not the desire of every man. I was promptly told that women act like no man is even worthy of their attention anyway and “you girls really have your heads up your asses.” – @SadieWiggles


There is something about this statement that resonated so profoundly with me, because I don’t like being approached. It always puts me in a weird position because regardless of how I react in that situation, I will always end up being the bad person, it’s either I feel bad for saying no and not being interested in a specific guy or I’m a “bitch” for turning them down.


I’ve been in too many situations where the guy has approached me and turned around and spewed the most vile stuff simply because I declined his request to get my number or “get to know” me. It’s like a woman can’t just say “no” and have it end there, the crazy thing is that when these “men” get rejected and spew the unsavory things they do, you as the woman are supposed to act with poise and grace and take it. That in it’s entirety is the reason why most women don’t want to be approached or if they are approached have a “mean mug” on their face. We’ve even resulted to walking around with headphones in our ears because we don’t want to be in a situation where dealing with odious comments is all we can do; and because you are a woman, you are an easy target. Society (we) has (have) placed so many burdens on the shoulders of women and somehow still expects women to always maintain their composure.


A woman can be a slut, a whore, a gold digger, or a bitch simply because she felt that she doesn’t want to give a specific guy her number. I guess that’s also why I like going out with guys so much. It’s a lot less stressful to deal with guys approaching because if I do feel like a guy is overstepping a boundary, my guy friends will step in, it’s like I’m no longer as vulnerable because I’m surrounded by “protectors” – which is the very role that men are supposed to play.


Women feel like targets and guys don’t seem to understand that sometimes a woman reacts to certain situations because of her past experiences.


So, getting called a whore or bitch by different guys simply because you said “no” does eventually affect you and you will do what you feel is necessary, you’ll protect yourself, but dealing with all of this also brings forth the question, what kind of men are we surrounded by in this day and age, where a woman saying no begets such low-class behaviour from men?


Are we at a point where men no longer hold women on the same level of respect as their mothers, grandmothers, aunts or sisters?


If it were another man speaking in that manner to any woman that you hold on the highest pedestal would you step in or allow him to continue speaking to her like that?


I guess one thing I’m starting to see is that there aren’t enough men, calling other men to order for their nauseating behaviour. It has become socially acceptable to degrade women and still expect women to smile and wave like these things aren’t an issue.


“It’s kind of a scary notion that men only seem to protect their own and don’t call other men to order. It makes no sense because that means you’re letting your precious daughters out into a world of hooligans that you see no need to chastise.” – @Sadiewiggles


It’s a cold sad world we live in, especially when you’re a female. 


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Twitter and Instagram: @MzLee_


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